(In the case of a real emergency, this station will broadcast appropriate instructions........)

HEY KROZABEEEP, YOU MISCREANT!

Hope you're feelin' better, but, if not, then fuck it... Y'know, the Archbishop called again to complain about your last letter to the Pope (you know, the one about the okra and the bees....)but I tol' 'im t'mind his own friggin' business and that he looked like a dork in that stoopid pointy hat anyway and that if he kept yappin' on about it, that we was gonna have to tell Tom Brokaw about that ugly incident with the Chihuahua and the aquarium pump, and that that might like not be real good for business, y'know and that, cause, anyway, so like, when, oh...mmmmmmmmm...but.... ...Oopshit, I got carried away.................(rewind...)

Okay, I'm back. I've been a bit lax with my meds lately an'
sometimes i JUS' "plit-bzzzzt"-short out kinda bad and scary like, but don' worry, I'm much better now since the last 'lectroshock party down at Aunt Tillie's Rubberoom Reformatorium.

I hardly ever go runnin' off nekkid and chase those squirrels into the junkyard anymore(usually) and besides, last time they said they liked it, an' brought me a whole buncha only slightly soiled broomstraws and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with like only a coupla soggy bites took outta 'em and then we all sat aroun' singin songs an lightin' little squirrely beerfarts till we got a bit carried away and kindasorta askidentally blowed up li'l Evan an it's like really toobad cause he was like my fave 'cept he smellt kinda bad and was always tryin' t'bum smokes and get Jolena's phone number so like sometimes ya get what ya deserve an' sometimes ya just get. Y'know?

But, to get to the point (whatevertheHell it may have been); it's not really Tuesday anymore, so ya just gotta take the ointment with the flyswatter.......Somebody said to me the other day "Don't let something as mundane as gravity hold you down." Sounds like good advice. Think I'll try it!

Abjectly appropos and faithfully yours in Ted Koppel's undershorts,

JOEY ABZO CROEMBOZAH
(POST-INDUSTRIAL ETHER-BANDIT)